This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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