But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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