Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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