is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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