Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
