i would punch a child for taco bell
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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