yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
