You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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