Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
