omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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