it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
