The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
