OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
