I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
