you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
