And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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