everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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