PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize