You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
