she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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