the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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