I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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