just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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