Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It was confusing and full of hummus
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
