I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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