literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
