Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
