ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We have started to decorate penises.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
