Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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