Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
