But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
