I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
