Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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