You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
