O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
