so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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