There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
