you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well I just put wine in my tea
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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