Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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