Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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