i already hear my dad disowning me
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
