I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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