Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
