so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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