And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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