New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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