Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My cat gives me a boner
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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