Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Fuck appropriateness.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
