went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
