dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
