just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize