That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
