It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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