I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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