There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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