The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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