Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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