Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
