Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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