hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
