My brain says no but my pants say off.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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