Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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